Profile

Join date: Sep 24, 2019

About

Center Dates of Admission:

2008

20013-15


Hi fellow Alumni! My name is Laura. I'm a grateful believer in Jesus Christ, an adult child of an alcoholic, survivor of abuse, and in recnaovery for chemical dependency, codependency, and ED. I am thriving and living a positive life with my PTSD, MDD, OCD, and every possible anxiety disorder out there. I'm a survior from a toxic, dysfunctional, emeshed family system, domestic violence in my previous marriage (psychological abuse), divorce, and spiritual abuse.


When I came to the Center in 2008, I was 28, engaged to my abusive fiance, my cousin had just died (she was 26), I was grieving, depressed, dissociating, avoiding food, frail, drinking myself to death, was isolated, alone, and had no hope. I felt pressure from family to get married, had no friends any more, was misunderstood and under supported. One night in my studio apartment I was done with life and all it's pressures. I swallowed a handful of sleeping pills, drank alot of alcohol hoping to end it all. I woke up the next day... apparently God had another plan for me. I wasn't dead. I opened my laptop and saw that I had been looking up treatment centers in Seattle while in my drunken, sleeping pill hazed state. Hmm that's interesting, I thought.


It was then that I felt I couldn't keep starving myself everyday, I couldn't go to work hung over any more, and I couldn't ignore the overwhelming grief I felt from my from cousin's death, and I couldn't pretend my life was out of control. Since I was still alive there MUST be another way to live and break free from all the overwhelmingness I felt....which was a problem in itself- my feelings....I did not like to feel any feelings and I operating mostly on happy or angry feelings. I was now overwhelmed and ambushed with all sorts of feelings! What the heck? A true horror...feelings! At the same time I was curious to figure out why they were arriving unannounced in my head.


In 2008 is when my healing began here at the Center. I've returned a few times over the years to work on other serious issues that came up. I'm now in my early 40's and struggle with new challenges...like being remarried, fertility and family planning, new inlaw/ family dynamics, transitioning into living in the Midwest (far away from my hometown in Orange County, CA!), finding new support groups, a new church, a new job, and new friends! Lot's of change. I keep connected to my support system back home through texting, calling, and email until I can build another support system out here in my new town. I've been doing some DBT (mastery and emotional regulation worksheets) and A LOT of self care as well.


Some of the things I have managed to do after leaving the Center have been: serving in Celebrate Recovery, mentoring, serving as a Co-Leader in the Divorce Care and Griefshare ministries, and gave my testimony on Speaking The Truth In Love at a class called Transforming Difficult Relationships (a ministry by Karla Downing.)


Gather your little victories everyday and remember YOU'RE AWESOME


-Laura

Laura

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